At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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