genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
