I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You took a bar mat shot.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
