i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
