I must be too annoying 4 u.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
