no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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