people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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