dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
