Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
