we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
