im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Found your dick twin last night
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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