operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
