The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just pee around me
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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