i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
