We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You ruined the universe
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
