I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
