And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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