oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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