Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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