i don't like sucking hair
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
