I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
