ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
