Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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