: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
