Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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