Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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