I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
