Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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