I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
