yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
