yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
