My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
