Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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