Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
