I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
