She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
