Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
