Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
