Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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