Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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