Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
