Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I am available for nakedness
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
