:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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