why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
