singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
