i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
