So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
