im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
