And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
