well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
