My liver just broke up with me...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
