I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
my sisters under your porch take her home
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
