Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Randomize
